Scribble doodle textile print tshirt worn by Prettycripple for NY Fashion Week

What do you think of my rack? I may be a C cup, but baby, my world is EEE. Here’s to my newest DIY scribble doodle print tshirt for NY Fashion Week.

Children instinctively express themselves through art, scribbling and doodling on paper with markers and crayons.

This fall season, fashion designers were so inspired by kids’ art that they incorporated it into their textile print designs. I found many of the designs so charming that I asked my friend, fashion designer, Jamie Kreitman, to recreate one such t-shirt and add her own artistic flair to make it special and mine.

sketch doodle textile prints

Just in case people forget where your boobs are, this tshirt is the perfect diagram. Purchase a TATAS TEE. For the true sophisticate, this gorgeous Christopher Kane LIFE DRAWING dress has your name scribbled all over it. If you are into kid art then this skirt by DOLCE GABBANA take kids’ scribblings to a new couture level.

Sketch doodle tshirt print

Work that shirt with a pair of sporty sequin blue track pants and suede big ass bow slip on sneakers. Don’t forget statement sunnies. This pair is by House of Holland.

Another reason I wanted a new t-shirt was to enthuse me for New York Fashion Week, which begins September 10th. The shows in September and February always get my creative juices flowing and help me focus on style obsessions for the upcoming season.

The first 4 days left me bored to death and unenthusiastic, wishing there were 4 days instead of 7. The lack of creativity, strict adherence to minimalism and dull color palettes left my Pinterest boards empty for the first time. Beautiful fabrics and knits were to be found, but there were few exceptional items I craved.

Prabal Gurung woke me up from my nap at the keyboard by opening his show with chanting monks.  But it wasn’t until Hood By Air’s show which had me utter “Oh crap, this is getting real!” Now we are getting somewhere because fashion shouldn’t always be safe.

By day 5 things started to pick up.  Color arrived by way of Libertine, Reem Acra, Naeem Khan,  Rodarte delivered one their most feminine, flattering collections, Narcisco Rodriguez always designs a line that every women will find flattering on her frame and the students from the MFA Parsons program always gives me a smile and laugh with some of their quirky, conceptual ensembles.

As a fashion blogger, I am compelled to list the following trends to keep you up-to-date, despite my ennui:

The trends that we will see Spring 2016 are:

1. Surfer SOCAL: I’ll take the bucket hat. All the other emsembles need to be dumped into the ocean for the sharks to feast. And if a poor seal or other ocean life chokes on it–well, not my problem.

Surfer socal chic Spring 2016 - NY Fashion Week

From left: BCBG Max Azria – photo by Alessandro Lucioni; Baja East – photo by Monica Feudi all via Vogue.com.

2. Maxi dresses: Most designers had them in their collection. I love this length, as it is flattering, feminine, fluid and graceful.  There was so much extra fabric that was overflowing on the walking stick figures (models.) This is a good thing, because the majority of women in the US are size 12 and up. Have their cries for roomier, flattering, feminine clothing finally been heard? Of course there was no mention of this from any of the fashion critics, but it was obvious that hemlines should stay below the knee for a few seasons.

Maxi dresses trend for Spring 2016 from the NY Fashion Week shows.

Aren’t these maxi dresses so flattering and feminine? From the left: Badgley Mischka – photo by Badgley Mischka; Reem Acra – photo by Marcus Tondo; Zero + Maria Cornejo – photo by Luca Tambolini. All via Vogue.com

3. Jumpsuits: I despise those things. They should remain in the 70s and never reemerge.

Jumpsuits for Spring 2016 from NY Fashion Week

I would consider wearing the one on the left, if the zipper went down to the crotch so I can pee with ease. Jumpsuits were not designed for wheelchair fashionable gals. From left: Adam Selman – photo by Marcus Tondo; Sophie Theallet – photo by Marcus Tondo; Assembly – photo courtesy of Assembly. All via Vogue.com.

4. Cool and Sporty: We can’t escape it. It’s here to stay. Too bad most of the looks are SO casual. Why bother purchasing from these upscale brands when you can buy the same styles from a cheap land-fill shop like H&M? These three shows made casual “cool.” This is how sporty should be worn.

sporty trend for spring 2016 from NY Fashion Week

If you are going sporty this is how you work it. And look they are not even wearing baseball caps with pony tails threaded through. From the left: Adam Selman – photo by Marcus Tondo; Public School – photo by Yannis Vlamos;  Hood By Air – photo by Luca Tombolin. All photos via Vogue.com.

MY FAVORITE  SHOW of course is THOM BROWNE.

Thom Browne spring 2016 NY fashion week collection

Thom Browne’s concept was “Japanese school girls turned upside down”. All photos via Vogue.com by Yannis Vlamos.

AND NOW FOR THE ODDEST, most juvenile and uh, WHY?

penis bikini top

Just what I have always wanted–a penis bikini top. It was designed by Nan Li and Emilia Pfohl for VFiles. Photo by Masoto Onada.  I emailed my mom this top and asked “Mom, can you ask Santa to put this in my stocking this year? I have a new venture in the New York. I am starting a new porn site for dudes who dig women in wheelchairs.” She hasn’t responded yet. 

If the clothing from the majority of collections could speak, they would moan and kvetch. I felt sorry for them, the same kind of sorry which I feel for haggard suburban moms with greasy hair pulled back in ponytails, shoved under baseball caps, without a moment to schmear on lipstick.

Even Alexander Wang, whom I normally love, didn’t have me smacking my matte Nars lips. When asked about the concept of his collection he replied, there is “NO CONCEPT.”  That was the perfect response to sum up NY fashion week’s current zeitgeist; bored and truly uninspired. But take comfort (literally) that these are clothes in which you can sleep, surf and head to the office without having to change. The Blanket trend from Fall 2015 continues and morphs into more cozy-comfy-bland Spring 2016 looks. Yawn.