Baring it all at Paris Fashion Week

Vivienne Westwood in Paris Fashion Show for Spring 2015

I followed Vivienne Westwood’s lead on the Paris Fashion Week catwalk and wore a basket on my head and smeared lipstick all over my face. Big bows for Spring 2015!

Let’s talk titty overload. The NY, London, Milan and Paris fashion runways were replete with exposed nipples peaking through transparent fabric for Spring 2015. Why did designers choose bosoms to showcase their collections? This trend isn’t novel, nor does it shock anymore. We have become completely desensitized to most forms of nudity as it has become more and more pervasive since the ’60s. Yet I question whether there is an esoteric meaning being conveyed by exposed breasts on the runway? Or is this “the year of the liberated-empowered woman”–again? I don’t think exposing bosoms empowers women. They have already been empowered for years by insouciantly running around in yoga outfits and neon trainers.

All aboard the Runway Tit Train in #PFW

(Left) Ann Demeulemeester – photo by Kim Weston Arnold; Acne Studios – photo by Yannis Vlamos; Rochas photo by Yannis Vlamos all via Style.com

But if designers really want to add novelty to their game and let newsreels explode, they should hire women like this to walk the runway. This gothic gem is an individual Jean Paul Gaultier should have considered to walk in his last ready-to-wear collection. Next year, he is working on a strictly-couture and corporate collaborations-only basis and no longer producing ready to wear collections. The frenzied pace of producing 6 collections a year doesn’t allow him to nurture his creative process. This sentiment is shared by many designers who are forced to keep pace with the fast-fashion behemoths.

3 titty lady

Image found on Jasmine Tridevil’s Facebook page

Meet, Jasmine Tridevil, a Florida massage therapist who spent $20k for her plastic surgery to construct a third breast so she could appear “less attractive to men.” I would love to see what Chanel’s Karl Lagerfeld might design for this hot toddy in February 2015 show for the fall collections. Talk about a third wheel.

I subscribe to the “less is more” fashion edict most of the time. Even designer Yohji Yamamoto remarked before his show in Paris: “Showing the body is very delicate. When you show it too much, it becomes nothing.”

Sexy looks from the Spring 2015 Paris Fashion Week shows

These are looks I find sexy without completely exposing oneself. Shoulders, ankles, a little midriff, flowing fabrics, a tiny cinched waist and expensive laced boots personify VA VA VOOM! (left) A.F. Vandevorst – photo by Umberto Fratini; Andrew Gn – photo by Kim Weston Arnold; Anrealage – photo courtesy of Anrealage; Chloe – photo by Marcus Tondo – all via Style.com. #NotManRepeller

I concur, Yohji, except in the case of Junya Watanabe and Comme des Garçons. For them, more won’t create a snore. They also happened to show my favorite collections. I loved Junya’s choice of colors, the big plastic orbs on the models’ heads, plastic, PVC, origami folds, patent leather orthopedic shoes and references to Sonia Delaunay’s paintings and the Orphism art movement.

Junya Watanabe Comme Des Garcons Spring 2014 at Paris Fashion Week

(Left) Junya Watanabe – photo by Yannis Vlamos; Comme des Garçons – photo by Yanni Vlamos all via Style.com.

Can “more” coexist harmoniously in the area of sportswear? Yes, designers want a piece of the comfort/casual pie, but how can they also make it look sophisticated for busy professional women? These three looks showcased my favorite sporty-chic looks.

Sporty chic looks from the Paris Fashion Week shows for Spring 2015

(Left) Carven – photo by Marcus Tondo; Roland Mouret – photo by Yannis Vlamos; Sacai – photo by Marcus Tondo all via Style.com.

Can you imagine someone strutting into a Zumba class wearing this Bottega Veneta outfit? I instantly fell in love. I can only imagine a $2K price tag justified by the use of the finest cotton sourced from a remote Italian mill, draped in such a beautiful way and topped with a humungous bow. Upon arriving at a Zumba class, toss off the strappy shoes and replace with a pair of Chanel’s tweed runners. As for me, exercise is not an option. I hate it. My favorite form of exercise is a brisk roll on a NYC pavement, then locking my brakes in an outdoor cafe, uncorking a bottle of something aged, shmearing three pats of butter on my crusty bread and thumbing through my fashion-related emails while people-watching the lively street scene.

Bottega Veneta from Milan Fashion Week for Spring 2015

Even though the Bottega Veneta (BV) show was at Milan Fashion Week, not Paris, I had to mention it was my favorite statement sweats look. If you might balk at the $1700 price tag, well, then there’s always Hanes.

There are other comfort items which my fashion antennae picks up. Coats and jackets. These are some of the favorites from the Paris collections.

Outwear jackets and coats from the Spring 2015 Paris Fashion Week shows

(Left) Balmain – photo by Monica Feudi; Kenzo – photo by Marcus Tondo; Barbara Bui – photo by Kim Weston Arnold; Sacai – photo by Marcus Tondo all via Style.com.

Do you know what else would provide me comfort? A designer collaboration with the CDC (Center for Disease Control) to design protective clothing shielding us from Ebola. I envision either a big plastic bubble decorated in bows, fleece and sequins. Or perhaps more like a prophylactic which can be slipped over the entire body with a flap for the bum for easy access after a night of drinking wine with friends. Who has the time to conceive of this newest design category? It’s got to be enfant-terrible, Jean Paul Gaultier! I forecast a sell out collab with Target or Mango. I hope he does it quickly though. I am sick of washing my hands 10 times a day.

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