Helloooo Dolly!

Hello Dolly - Dress up like a human dollI have a hard time understanding the annoyingly recycled trend among teens in which they seek to transform themselves into living dolls. To achieve this look, one must do as follows: enhance one’s eyeballs to the point they appear to protrude from their skull, airbrush the face with a porcelain foundation and powder, paint cheeks with the perfect pink hue resembling a cherub, straighten hair so smoothly that it glistens like an A-list celeb’s Lumineers and wear super short cutesy dresses trimmed with rick-rack and stiff with crinoline underskirts. Think your favorite prissy childhood doll as a fashion statement to emulate.

I challenged myself to take this irritating juvenile trend (one that should be tossed into a pram with pacifier, Pampers and iPad streaming Dora the Explorer) and refine it to a sophisticated level worthy of the fashion arbiter, Andre Leon Talley‘s, approval.

As I went through online research to refine this “living-doll” trend, I realized my answer was right in front of me in a parcel delivered from Amanda Fatherazi of London, England.

Amanda Fatherazi Brooch and DollsAmanda Fatherazi designs intricately woven brooches of glamorous women from the early twentieth century. She also designs custom made, embroidered posable dolls with soft limber limbs that speak volumes with a gaze. I fell in love with her brooches a couple of years ago and recently ordered my second one. This “Tutti Frutti” brooch is of a pastel hue, portrays a softly coiffed, cotton candy headed sultress sporting a bright lacquered cherry. I was so enthralled by this wearable art that I felt compelled to transform myself into “Tutti Frutti.”

My hair stylist, Peggy Marzell of the Blonde Hair Expert, came over to doll me up. Yes, I have my very own stylist just like any A-list celebrity. She brushed my hair up in back and fastened it with bobby pins. Then she took a medium barrel curling iron and curled all the hair on the top of my head. Then she chalked a few curls with pastel blue and pink chalk and pinned all the curls underneath with bobby pins. The pièce de résistance-spray the heck out of your hairspray can till your hair doesn’t have any movement.

I looked in a mirror and gasped. Instead of achieving the “boudoir doll” look I desired, I was staring at the face of Lucille Ball!! I am pretty sure I was Lucille Ball in another life and this transformation confirms this belief. Lucy was a brilliant comedienne and a smart business woman, traits to emulate and admire.

Magda as Lucille BallJust so you know, it isn’t easy getting “dolled-up.” I had to sleep on my sculpted ‘do, which left me with eyes wide open at 3am. I am not used to sleeping a certain way with bobby pins stabbing me in the head. So, I tucked one of my trusty stuffed animals under my neck to soften the bobby pin torture.

By morning I was ready to show the world that you can turn yourself into a brooch-turned-Lucille Ball apparition.

I was determined to get an audience, so I went to opening day of my local farmers’ market. Once there, I chat with friends and vendors, hard working men and women who provide us proper nourishment without genetic modification. And we all listen to live music.

My friends didn’t bat an eye when I arrived. “Wow, you look like Lucy. Where do you want to sit? How about some coffee?” Then it was business as usual. I bought produce and pushed people out of the way as I rolled around buying crab cakes, pumpernickel bread and cheese and tomato stuffed foccacia from a new Italian vendor. I knew that evening I would feast like a savage, so I had to work up an appetite.

Magda at Haverstraw Farmers' MarketI needed to prove to the crowd that I am an incarnation of Lucille Ball. My new hair-do had so many newly birthed Chakras it would eventually bring peace, prosperity and end the recession.

Havertraw NY Farmers' Market Crab Cake vendorWhat would Lucille Ball wear to a farmers’ market? Red vintage beaded necklace, Black/White Market polka dot top, J. Crew cropped trousers, Arche patent leather brogues.

I rolled up to the virtuoso musician, Stephan, who was in the middle of singing “Under the Boardwalk” originally sung by “the Drifters.” I brazenly cut him off mid song and said “Look I need to finish up this song.” Stephan took one look at me and knew I meant business. I turned to the audience and belted out my best Lucille Ball impersonation singing confidently off key.

How exhilarating. I successfully channeled Lucille Ball, received applause and left the market sun-kissed, with goods to nourish me and remind me that whatever it is you want to do in life, just do it. Don’t worry what others think and never stop creating or teasing your hair to new heights.

This is what my hair looks like after I decided to let go of Lucille Ball. My prediction is this hair-do will become the newest hair sensation. Don't be surprised if you see Katie Couric discussing the latest update on the immigration policy on her hit talk news show sporting this style. This image is surely to go viral.

This is what my hair looks like after I decided to let go of Lucille Ball. My prediction is this hair-do will become the newest hair sensation. Don’t be surprised if you see Katie Couric discussing the latest update on the immigration policy on her hit talk news show sporting this style. This image is surely to go viral.

 

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3 Comments

  1. Highland Fashionista

    June 23, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    You are rocking that look. Somehow channeling such a specific look works so much better on someone who knows who she is. Teenagers as dolls…that's just creepy.

  2. BRAVO! You even channeled Lucy in the Wine Barrel Stomping Grapes episode at the end picsthere. Perfecto. (ps. Yup. Doesn't need no microphone either.)
    (Ps. No props to the Haverstraw Farmers' Mkt? I was waiting for a link to a website!)

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