What’s on your holiday wish list, America? Botox or Dentures?

| christmas gift ideas

Pretty Cripple shopping Thanksgiving 50% off Netaporter.com saleThe Thanksgiving Day weekend shopping numbers are in and it doesn’t look pretty. Retailers were hoping to see bigger profits during Black Friday weekend. But it looks like retail malaise draped its Made In China fleece blanket on America, smothering her with coupons on top of coupons. Sales are down 11% from last year.

What can be done about this? It seems like the economic landscape remains grim, with shoppers waiting for last minute deals then pouncing. Reminds me of how an emaciated, aged, one-eyed cat leaps into the arms of an adoptive family at the local shelter.

One eyed cat happy with adoptive family and his eye patch

Lower gas prices will not be our salvo. Politicians proudly tout the savings which will help debt ridden shoppers save an extra whopping $400 a year. Whoot! Whoot! What shall we do with all that extra cash?

I devised a CHRISTMAS WISH LIST poll to determine what satiates Americans’ desires and keeps them elated for the time it takes to text. I am confident I have listed items to entice every age group and demographic. Once the poll ends in the coming week, I will email all earmark salivating members of the Congress so they understand the psyche of most Americans.

GO AHEAD READERS. CHECK OFF YOUR FAVORITE ITEM FROM THIS POLL.

I have also included a few gift ideas and affordable items for you to purchase for both sexes.

Three Jerks filet mignon beef jerkey without MSG or nitrites - Made in the USA

If you are a beef jerky aficionado as I, then you will need this. This is filet mignon beef without MSG, nitrates & made in the USA. Three Jerks jerky comes in 3 varieties. You will not want to share delicious meat with anyone. It is that good. I also like to post this jerky on my vegan friends’ Facebook page and flout their dietary regime by remarking: “Oh, you mean you don’t eat this? Oh, so sorry. Are you sure?”

 

Holika Egg soaps from Korea for the face

Holika egg soaps for the woman or man who loves Korean facial products and eggs. I start my morning washing my face and then bust out 3 fried eggs in butter. There are 4 varieties of soaps. 1. The red clay is for dry skin & removes impurities, 2. Green Tea is for large pores and uneven skin, 3. Charcoal is for large pores and oily skin and 4. White Egg is for oily and sensitive and will leave your skin tight and smooth. They smell amazing.

Don’t forget America. Shop, baby, shop. Our economy is depending on you.

Witness my excitement when I shopped Netaporter.com’s 50% SALE. The loudness of my voice is like a thunder clap, so don’t be alarmed. Notice my matted hair, but at least it is topped off with a tiara. Don’t forget to keep beer on hand to make you loosey goosey.

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1 Comment

  1. I love your shaking in the video and the is-my-tiara-still-staying-on-with-all-this excitement double-check

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