Pretty Cripple Kylie Jenner Wheelchair parody

A couple days ago, social media was ablaze when legions of politically correct hysterics expressed outrage over Kylie Jenner’s “Interview Magazine” cover. In this cover photo, Kylie sits catatonic in a gold plated wheelchair, her limbs with the sheen of a high end sex doll replete with working orifices, awaiting a tête–à–tête with a high-ranking GOP politician.

Mind you, Kylie is not disabled. She is one of the pathologically narcissistic members of the California tribe, the Kardashians. Their vast  enterprise is run by matriarch, Kris, who functions as their pimp, and whose every waking minute is devoted to making more money for the clan.

kylie jenner in a wheelchair for Interview Magazine

Photo by Steven Klein

Kylie Jenner as blow up doll in Interview Magazine

Photo by Steven Klein

Friends, acquaintances and the media wanted my opinion on this magazine cover. Was I offended? What’s my opinion on this controversial matter? Actually, the only thing I find offensive is the lack of creativity on the part of Kylie’s PR/creative team. I don’t mind that she used a wheelchair as a prop. As far as I see it, let’s chalk one up for the disabled population as it draws attention to us. We exist and yes, we can be pretty, desirable and sexual while sitting in a chair. I highly doubt her nitwit team had the imagination  to devise a shocking photo with the intent to piss off disabled people. Yet this layout was created to provoke, draw ire, and shock in the vapid and inane world of social media. This calculated move was not devised to mock the plight of people who can’t walk, but to generate buzz.

However, this plan backfired. There was nothing novel or provocative about it. She failed because of her naivete. Kylie is building her “lip kit” line empire and selling an unobtainable beauty ideal to a sycophantic generation of depressed, young women with low self esteem. She is not a formidable entertainer like Madonna or Lady Gaga, who brilliantly devise marketing schemes while spinning around in latex, licking a gigantic banana while their butler pushes them across their newest music video set.

Pretty Cripple as Kylie Jenner in a wheelchair for Interview Magazine parody

I felt like I could do a much better job posing as Kylie by not being submissive. I would much rather dominate plastic men. (This is Skip, my blow up doll. Remember him?) Duct tape his mouth and make him your bitch. What do you think of my lips? Don’t they look natural?

What bothers me most about this Kylie ‘non-story’ are the politically correct, hyper-sensitive, creativity-squashing masses who zealously pounce on celebrities to demonstrate how caring and sensitive they are in such a horrifying world. Oh PULEEZ. STOP YOUR PHONY TIRADES AND WITCH HUNT DU JOUR! The world has enough problems. Ranting about this matter is pointless and frankly, quite tiresome.

Pretty Cripple as Kylie Jenner in a wheelchair for Interview Magazine Parody #2

So lady like.

People should allow entertainers and artists to carry out the vision they see fit. If Kylie thinks this is art and this is her vision, then let her do it. The more people take to social media excoriating her and her family, the more this twisted freak show family stays news-worthy, which is precisely the point.

My hope is that they take their stratospheric celebrity cache and stop squandering it by exploiting their sexuality and acting like a bunch of spoiled, egocentric boobs. Maybe it is time for less facial contouring tutorials, dull selfies and useless app creations, but to bring more attention to social causes which enrich people’s lives. Currently there is nothing on Kylie or Kim’s website promoting charities or any work they may have done for a good cause.  (If you can call the one token photo of Kylie’s carefully scripted visit to a children’s hospital).

Perhaps, it is due time to KUT the KORD? Maybe we should all stop talking about that scalpel-deformed, injectables-enamored clan, so they can finally disappear into obsolescence.

Pretty Cripple as Kylie Jenner wheelchair parody #3

See ya later sweeties. I am going to take over the world.

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