I have watched fashion designers take the lowly pajama and redesign it in expensive fabric with intricate trim and tailoring meant to be worn outdoors. When I first saw this unfortunate fashion folly a few seasons ago, I knew designers were desperate for ideas. I wouldn’t be caught dead walking out of my home in pj’s, no matter how tailored or beautiful the ensemble.
Last week during New York Fashion Week, there were a few ensembles that took pajamas to a new level, that is, by way of the bathroom.
Is “Bathroom Chic” the new thing? The average person spends a great deal of time in the restroom. Men easily spend up to one hour a day reading and grunting. Women apply makeup, blow out their hair and melt their stress in the bath tub with balmy scented candles.
Phew! I am so happy designers are really thinking about business women dashing pell-mell to a business meeting. Left: Alexander Wang via Racked.com and Thakoon – photo by Yannis Vlamos via Vogue.com.
Awwww, how cute. His-and-her bathroom runway fashion. Designed by The Elder Statesman – photo by Thomas Giddings via Vogue.com.
AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVE…
The pioneer of Bathroom Fashion is Tia Cibani. Photo courtesy of Tia Cibani via Vogue.com.
What do you think is all over Tia Cibani’s model’s face? Face cream or some must-have Korean face mask? I saw only one thing: COCAINE.
Funny, drugs never go out of style. But I think I might have coke on the brain because I have been binge-watching Netflix’s newest series, Narcos. If you love gangs, violence and drug trafficking as much as I do, then you must see this new hit show.
(I am so obsessed with this show that I needed to add this cocaine prop to my DIY’d ‘bathroom chic’ look.)
When you are getting dressed for Bathroom Fashion Week, don’t forget to do some blow.
HERE IS MY VERSION OF DIY’D ‘BATHROOM CHIC’ ON THE FLY.
Oh man that is some good shit. I just blew my entire month’s clothing allowance up my schnoz in 5 seconds.
- Take a taupe or oatmeal colored towel, wrap it around your head to create a wrap or turban.
- Create a collar with a Swiffer vacuum wipe and pin it with a pretty brooch.
- Create a pair of epaulettes with Swiffer Wet Mop wipes.
- Throw a towel across your lap preferably in a “dead moss” color.
- Bam! You are a stylish “Bathroom Fashion” enthusiast on the cheap.
Getting back to Narcos and cocaine…
Narcos is a crime drama on Netflix documenting the rise and fall of Colombia’s biggest and wealthiest drug kingpin, Pablo Escobar, the Medellín Cartel, as well as fumbling United States DEA agents. The series details Escobar’s early years (late 1970s) to the two decade war on drugs which unleashed violence, war, terror and was responsible for killing over 4,000 people. He was renown for his ruthlessness, ran a $5B a year drug business and eventually rose to become a Congressman. Hard to fathom people would elect a thug, isn’t it? Oh wait, never mind. People elect thugs all the time, even in the good ol’ USA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7elNhHwgBU
Will this show gain as much popularity as Breaking Bad, another series based on drugs? Remember when the fashion industry glamorized heroin with “heroin chic” in the 90s? Do you think “cocaine chic” will replace it and converge with “bathroom chic?”
So much uninspiring fashion is being churned out these days, packaged for Instagramming celebrities. The powers that be keep designing “landfill chic”-value items for the masses who shop at fast fashion chains.
As you may gather, my hope for fashion’s future isn’t so bright. So in the meantime I will follow the trend of bathroom fashion enthusiasts, sit in my bathrobe watching people snort powder up their nostrils on my flat screen TV.
Rest assured, I don’t condone snorting illegal substances. The wafting aroma of garlic, fresh bread, aged cheese and wine at my favorite farm-to-table restaurant, is my favorite form of inhalation.
