Rolling onto the Red Carpet – The 2013 Oscars® are here

Magda of Pretty Cripple at the Oscars®

So, I decided to throw a party for Hollywood’s biggest night of the year, the Oscars. I love watching the Academy Awards. I soak up the red carpet interviews, the pageantry and the celebrities on their best behavior with PR agents in tow. Close behind are the stylists, make-up artists, body guards, chauffeurs, paparazzi and other show biz folk who help shape Hollywood. This night celebrates what I consider one of the greatest forms of entertainment–the Moving Picture Show.

I appreciate all the hard work that goes into making a film. From the initial story board to the production designer, who designs the look and settings of the film; from the costume designer, producer, director, writer, cinematographer to the casting directors who decide which actors and actresses bring life to film.

Last year 39.3 million people watched the Oscars, which was hosted by Billy Crystal. This year, the gala event will be hosted by Seth McFarlane. This will be a first for Seth and I look forward to his irreverent and side-splitting comments. He’s a gifted comedian, writer, voice actor, and director who has created successful politically incorrect and hilarious comedy shows such as Family Guy, American Dad, and the Cleveland Show. What really puts me into fast gear is the tribute to 50 years of James Bond. You might’ve guessed that I’m a Bond Girl by the parachute bag labeled 007 attached to the back of my wheelchair. I’ll clue you in that I’m a total and complete fanatic. If I could hump Daniel Craig’s leg like a Rottweiler for one minute, I could then die peacefully. Better yet, if I could hump his leg on his Aston Martin and we both internally combust, the Broccoli family might write about it in their memoir. Daniel in “Skyfall” was THE BOMB and this was the best Bond film in years. And ya gotta love his date with the Queen during the summer Olympics. Talk about a leap of faith!

Daniel Craig and Magdalena of PrettyCripple.com

What’s my fave part of Oscar night? Red Carpet fashion, the speeches that are quick and witty, the interviews and Oscar Party buzz. The actresses look impeccable and why shouldn’t they? They spend the last 48 hours prior by getting glycolic peels, mani/pedis, injectable fillers, CoolSculpting to erase stubborn body fat and strategic spray tans. The newest line of Spanx® is always de rigueur to ensure that all is sucked in, contained and smooth under their Tom Ford, Givenchy, Chanel and Dior couture gowns.

Joan Rivers, one of my ultimate heroines, hosts the “Fashion Police” Monday, February at 10pm. She dissects the best and worst dressed from the 2013 Academy Awards with no mercy and no holds barred. She brilliantly skewers what the celebs are wearing at the Oscars. Her acerbic tongue spares no one. Ya gotta love her!

An unforgettable Oscar party must have great food. It isn’t necessary to serve a gastronomical buffet ala Wolfgang Puck’s menu at the Governor’s Ball Oscar party. Last year, Mr. Puck wowed his guests with 1,450 lbs of Maine lobster, 1000 bottles of Moet & Chandon champagne, chicken pot pie with shaved truffles, beet salad with pistachio butter, and gold dusted chocolate for 1,500 guests. How could I EVER top that?

I plan to wow with a sampling of these succulent morsels:

This is what I call “Low brow meets high brow.” I will serve my guests Smithfield Farms Pork Rinds with a dollop of North American Salmon Caviar (Caviarexpress.com) on each rind. I purchased the rinds at a local Sunoco gas station, but you can pick them up in most supermarkets. Serve them on a cake stand surrounded by Oscar® themed party gear, and you will wow your guests.

Pork rind and caviar for the Oscars

ANTIPASTO SAVORY SALTY MEATS AND DELIGHTFUL CHEESE. Please no one share this image with Mario Batali. I don't want him to steal this and serve it at his "Babbo" restaurant. If he gets word of this this, his neon orange Crocs® might melt on his feet.

ANTIPASTO SAVORY SALTY MEATS AND DELIGHTFUL CHEESE. Please no one share this image with Mario Batali. I don’t want him to steal this and serve it at his “Babbo” restaurant. If he gets word of this, his neon orange Crocs® might melt on his feet.

In addition to serving good food, it is always fun to get dressed up for the occasion. Fashion from the 20s and 30s is my favorite, so I chose to reflect a little bit of that era in my outfit. There was something incandescent, sultry, sophisticated and glamourous about the actresses of that era. Their perfectly coiffed hair, long fingernails, and mesmerizing stare hypnotizes me.

Clark Gable and Magdalena of Pretty Cripple.com

I love sharing special moments with my two female Chihuahuas, Mirdle and Hattie. So I had to involve them in the festivities which are the highlight of my TV viewing season. I hemmed and hawed as to how I should doll them up and ultimately chose two costumes.

1. A Marilyn MonroeThe Seven Year Itch” costume, since Marilyn is my favorite actress off all time.

Marilyn Monroe and Hattie the Chihuahua as Marilyn

Hattie as “The Seven Year Bitch.” Could that be a new show that Cesar Millan eventually produces?

2. An Abraham Lincoln outfit, since “Lincoln” was nominated as Best Picture, directed by Steven Spielberg and starring the brilliant Daniel Day – Lewis as Lincoln.

Abe Lincoln a Chihuahua and Daniel Day-LewisThe glamorous Oscars telecast is THE occasion to invite friends over to watch and celebrate this intrinsically American tradition. I feel blessed having a posse of friends with similar interests, who love life and laugh at all of its absurdities.

The Oscars are a testament to American ingenuity. When creative, inspiring minds come together, they create works of art for generations to come.

Live well and love. I hope you enjoyed the Oscars. I did.

Live well and love. Enjoy the Oscars®. I know I will.

 What am I wearing? Maison Martin Margiela for H&M crystal glitter ball leggings, repurposed satin blouse from my dear friend, Fendi leopard and patent leather spectator pumps, Art Deco necklace from Gilt.com, Deco Great Gatsby feather and rhinestone brooch headband by Jamie Kreitman®.
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These are some gowns I am mad for that could have been worn to the Oscars.

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3 Comments

  1. Love your Bond logo, my dear. You should be the next Bond girl — you're certainly rocking the glam look! Hattie's cleavage deserves its own Oscar.

  2. Awesome post milady!!! This one takes the CAKE and deserves its own award!!

  3. Great, thank goodness I live on the west coast so can read this just as I was about to fall asleep… biting the sheets so as not to wake the whole house and all wound up now with a test at 8am… this blog is going to make me fail nursing school… seriously though, you and your little dogs are KILLING ME

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