Back off and get out of my way suburbs of New York! Magdalena woke up and has left her suburban sarcophagus for the EASTER DAY HAT PARADE!
Anyone who knows me can attest that leaving the ‘burbs to head into NYC is akin to receiving a faux-Molly IV infusion. To be exact, I am alive, uproariously happy, canoodling with strangers and blending with the world’s most offbeat creative, ambitious people on the planet. AMEN NY!
I have attended the New York Easter Hat Parade for the past four years. This year for some reason was the most technicolor-drenched, relaxed of all my years in attendance. Color, color, color. Was it the lighting off the clouds? Was it the tumult of the world and a controversial presidential campaign trail, which amounted to a induced New Yorkers’ creativity of colorful masterpieces, donning heads in defiance of incontrovertible negativity?
I didn’t analyze it for more than a few seconds. All I knew was I needed to greedily embrace 10 dulcet city blocks and record them with my Nikon DSLR.
AMERICAN’S DYING VESTIGE : VINTAGE FASHION DONE RIGHT
Dashing, dapper and ohhhhh, wearing PINK SHOES!
The Idiosyncratic Fashionistas – Who says 50 and over should be relegated to wearing Florsheim shoes, poly-blend pants, acrylic sweaters or cheap Rite-Aid drugstore readers? Work it and own it.
AMERICANS AND THEIR COUTURE DOGS
‘Stop staring at me. Piss off. I look better than you in a fascinator’, says Mr. Pug.
Bitch, I need to borrow that feather fascinator hat.
That’s right Chihuahua, shine that weirdo canine couture up.
NYC’S MOST FORGIVING POLITICAL ROSTRUM: A HAT PARADE
Bunnies rule and politicians should have their head torn off by bunnies, or at least made into their bitch. How many dollars did she have to fold to make this costume? Wait! She is wearing freaking ice skates.
Dude and his TRUMP puppet. I rolled up to that damn puppet and said “TRUMP PUPPET, I am voting for BERNIE!” and rolled my free-spirited ass away.
I love how elaborate this woman’s ANTI-TRUMP hat is. “It’s HUGE.” “No one can get through.” You can get through if you are white and educated though.
FAVORITE TECHNICOLOR fashion TRAPPINGS
Rolando Vega is one of my favorite attendees. He is so damn creative. When I arrived home I had some of his parts caught in my wheelchair. I call that “The inadvertent spokes of fashion’s entrapment.”
I saw “macaroni man” from 1 block away, belched, then wailed. HOLY SHIT! Get to that guy NOW! See? I touch people and don’t give a damn. He gold-sprayed hundreds of macaronis and glued them to his costume. I looked at the top of his hat and asked “Are those GOLD CROISSANTS?” Nope. Macaroni. But he said “Oh, that’s brilliant. I will add croissants next year.” Yup, New Yorkers.
Look at his shoes. Skater shoes with gold macaronis. Oh dear God. I love this guy.
THE HATS THAT WILL RULE THE WORLD
Carrot fascinator hat. Look at how the hat ties into her “carrot garden” combo delicate scarf. How elegant.
Honey Bunny – I didn’t get a chance to ask her if she has an oxygen tank designed by Elon Musk hidden somewhere in there. I hope she has happy-gas in there. Happy face, YEH!
Literally a TRIP down Orange Tang Acid Road. Please look at her Owl bag. Imprisonment entered my mind for a split second. I wanted to knock her out, grab her damn owl bag and make a run for it. But you know, fashionable cripples and prison don’t mesh.
How matchy-match and wonderful. They bought those sweaters from H&M.
I love Kermit the Frog. MUPPETS OVER HUMANS forever.
Am I creative and vibrant? YES!
Another year, another great outfit. I bought the red patent jacket at the Manhattan Vintage Show. Hat is vintage, along with the scarf . Pants by J. Brand and shoes by F-Troupe; sunnies by House of Holland.