Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day when couples demonstrate to each other their affection via cards, gifts and food.
Commercialism has dictated these customs and we’re reminded to follow closely via the media. I have always eased the minds of bygone boyfriends by assuring them that I don’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. It is a day that can make both parties terribly insecure and calls into question the nature of the relationship. Instead, this day should celebrate love.
I can’t tell you how many times I have met men and women who ‘have settled’ in their relationship. It’s ok to ‘settle’ a bit since no one is perfect. But when time goes by and the partners grow further apart, it might be time to part ways. I realize it is easier said than done, and often fear of the unknown can be so paralyzing that it prevents you from seeking the inevitable–solitude.
I have not been in a serious relationship in three years because I refuse to settle. I find it difficult to find someone who is intelligent, funny, mature and without a caravan full of baggage. I am not searching for perfection- I am realistic and besides, I love men’s idiosyncrasies. I don’t care if he is 5,4″ or 6,4″, just as long as we have many things in common. What I see too often are people who search for unobtainable ideals and remain alone because they think ‘the next best thing is around the corner.’ Oh pleeeez! The next best thing around the corner is YOU drunk in a bar alone. Again.
My advice to those who are alone or unhappy this Valentine’s Day is BE ALONE because it is awesome. It is during this time you can focus on and enjoy a fabulous creative project. Clarity and creativity are often found in solitude. Embrace it since you might discover something that will make you happier than another human can.
In the meantime, I am having fun fulfilling a Valentine’s week fantasy which you, too, can do with friends or by yourself with a tripod.
Let me introduce you to my male blow up doll, Skip. I have had him for two years since my first Valentine’s Day post. My friends and I have taunted him so often he has a hole in his arm pit, therefore leaving him deflated. My friend and I tried patching him desperately with USPS packing tape, but it didn’t work. So I decided to buy a new doll and create a backstory around him as I did with Skip.
Meet Esteban. He hails from Catalonia and is an ex-bull fighter. I was able to convince him that stabbing a defenseless animal in the name of sport is barbaric. He saw the light and enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Technology. He has hopes of creating a niche market for flamboyant, tightly sewn embroidered knickers inspired by a matador’s ostentatious slaughter uniform. I’ve been shocked with how adept he is with knitting needles and is helping me design knitting patterns for beanies with couture flowers. Our goal is for the French couture houses to purchase these pieces for their collections.
Here is a video I created with Skip before he deflated. Go ahead, act like a fool. We have one life to live, so let’s freak everybody out.
Countdown to #ValentinesDay. Ladies don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t have a #date. Meet Skip my #male #blowupdoll. He’s soft, bendy, not demanding and starts like a race car. Unlike some men he always gets to the finish line without leaving a mess. #humor #love #disabled #nascar wearing #morrissey tshirt
Do you know what else I like to do to waste time and have fun? I design infographic charts. You don’t have to be creative or a graphic designer to create one. Try and get ideations flowing with Piktochart a free info graphic creator.
One final observation: Men and women are beset by work, acquiring things, parenting, social media overload and keeping up with technology. We all want love yet don’t make enough time to find it or nurture it. Then when we think we find it, we exclaim, “Oh crap, I might be settling.” Well, don’t because the world is your oyster. Masticate prudently, filter properly, dispose the waste and then fortify the pearl that is worth keeping.